Dad To Two

With stereotypes placing the mother firmly in the home with the kids while dad goes out to work, you may be forgiven for believing it is mom who has the most influence on the children. However, recent studies by the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) have revealed it is actually the father who is the bigger influence in the children’s lives. According to the study, children who eat with their fathers are more likely to be happy, healthy and successful at school. With more women entering employment to help support the family, dads now have more opportunity than ever to enjoy the benefits of eating with their kids.

It is thought that the conversations held at meal times provide an opportunity for the father to bond with his children. This, in turn, helps the child to feel secure and, more importantly, loved. A child with a good support network at home, is less likely to be bullied at school. The child is also less likely to turn a gang to feel this sense of belonging.

A father is often seen as the authoritative figure in a family, with mom dishing out the cuddles and dad dishing out the punishments. This may be why a child is more likely to mimic their father’s table manners, then they are the mother’s. A father who eats meals with his kids has the opportunity to teach them proper etiquette and manners. Family mealtimes are also when a child learns important social skills, including how to interact with others and how to listen when someone else is talking. Children who eat their meals alone are more likely to be socially naïve and lacking in basic manners.

Perhaps the most concerning result of the USDA study is the revelation that kids who did not have a father present at mealtimes are more likely to be obese. Why this is the case is not clear, but it is believed to be linked to the fact a child is more likely to do as their father tells them as oppose to the mother. Despite these findings, the study also concluded that dads were much more likely to take their children to a fast food restaurant. This is attributed to the father feeling guilty for working so much and therefore absent from the home.

Despite no real reasons for these associations, it is obvious that more fathers need to be aware of the massive influence they have on their children. While work commitments cannot be avoided, making the time to eat together will have worthwhile benefits for the whole family.

All of us, including our children, will experience negative feelings about themselves on certain occasions. Negativity in children can happen while they are playing sports, attending school or it could just be a problem is battling their own feelings while they are at home. The problem that needs to be addressed is how to handle the situation when their schoolwork starts to get affected and the relationship with their friends or their family starts to diminish. Overcoming a destructive attitude with your child can be accomplished; however, it does take some work, so that your child can eventually bloom at their full potential. Of course, this is what all of us as parents really hope for.

One of the most important things you could do to help with negativity in children is to listen to what your child has to say. I know when I was growing up, my parents were always at work and in a lot of cases, it didn’t seem like what I had to say mattered. I was told myself, when I had a child of my own, things would be different and that I would always be there for them and that they could voice their grievances. Sometimes when your child is bothered by certain things, they won’t always tell you what it is right away. If a child doesn’t think that his parents are concerned about their problems, a lot of built-up tension and negativity could end up resulting.

I can honestly say that one of the big factors in dealing with negativity in children is to become a professional listener, especially when you think something is bothering your child. You have to let your child know that they can approach you about anything, whether it’s a sexual issue, a criminal issue or an accident that you witnessed that you might be afraid to talk about. You also have to be aware of how you respond to your child when you’re conversing with them. It’s imperative that they know that you are very concerned, because most children believe that they are the center of the universe and when it comes to a parent helping their child they are.

Dealing with negativity in children isn’t always the easiest task for a parent. However, if you remember that you are the most primary source that your child can turn to for them to get behavioral help, then as a parent, it will make the job of dealing with your child’s negativity much easier. As a parent, please consider the type of example you’re setting for them. Your child will look up to you as a leader, and you need to handle things like stress well or your children might think it’s okay for them to get stressed out and think it’s natural. This principle applies to other bad habits as well. If you as their parent smoke, there’s a good chance your child might smoke someday. The old cliché “actions speak louder than words” has been around for almost a century and parents need to be cognizant of this.

Another strong method of dealing with negativity in children is by giving them a pat on the back occasionally to recognize all the positive efforts they’re making. For example, if you get home one day and find out that your child has washed the dishes and took out the trash, ask to sit them down in the living room and take a few minutes praising his efforts in front of them. This will make them feel more important, and in my opinion when you make a child feel important and positively stroke their ego only good can result out of this. Also, please don’t focus on the negative or focus on what your child didn’t do. For example, if your child just got back from a math test and just performed marginally, praise your child for the answers he did get right and don’t get on them for the problems they missed.

In order to be an effective parent and deal with the negativity in children you need to probe into the root of their problems and learn about what’s upsetting them in the first place. Some children praise their parents so much, and believe in them so much, that they are scared to death to make a mistake, and think that their parents might disown them or think much less of them if they came forward and just admitted their mistake. The biggest hurdle you as a parent will face in combating your child’s negativity will be to convince them that you are always there and approachable for anything they need.

One final thing you need to understand when it comes to dealing with negativity in children is the fact that habits (bad or good) by all of us are formed in about 21 days. So if your child starts developing bad habits because they are afraid to approach you, these bad habits will become ingrained in their psyche over time and will become harder and harder for them to break. This is one of the reasons why people that neglect their children are setting their children up for a rough life. It’s your responsibility as a parent, not only to help them with their negative thoughts, but also to reveal to them all of the mistakes you made throughout your life so they don’t make them later.